181. There Is Always A Choice

For every situation I find myself in, I’m faced with a number of possible options. It’s up to me to choose among them and decide what I will do. Sometimes it feels like there is no choice, or like the choice has already been made for me. I have to remind myself this is never true. There are always options. There is always a choice.

When it feels like there is no choice it’s because something is weighing me down. It’s influencing me so heavily that I feel I cannot possibly go against it. If I’m paying attention to the forces that are at work in me, I can notice when this happens and respond. I can allow myself to imagine alternatives. I can posit them as real possibilities. I can investigate what might happen if I were to choose one.

I might anticipate that one of the options will produce pain for myself or others. I might then want to discard that option because it feels too risky. But if the alternatives will also produce pain — particularly in the more-distant future — I must consider that as well. When I’m fully aware of the pain that might follow from all of my options, pain itself becomes less important, and I allow myself to choose based on other factors.

I might also want to discard an option because it goes against the rules or norms of my community. To be fully aware of the harm of breaking the rules can be challenging because not all transgressions are quickly forgiven. There is a real risk of lasting damage, and recognizing this might make me anxious. But if I let anxiety dominate all other considerations, I might fail to do the right thing. I might end up causing more harm simply because I’m worried about causing harm.

I need to be aware of all of these factors to make good choices. By seeing everything clearly, I help to ensure I’m not controlled by any single factor, and this makes it possible for me to choose to do what is most needed and necessary in the present moment.