127. Judgments And Anxiety

When a friend is feeling anxious, I listen to their concerns and I do my best to empathize with them. If I judge the worrisome situation differently than they do, I try to make them feel better by showing them that the outcome will be better than they think. Sometimes this helps to lessen their anxiety, provided they come around to seeing things as I do.

My friend’s anxiety is a kind of suffering that arises from attachment. They have become attached to their desire to avoid a future outcome they have foreseen. This intention arose because they judged that this particular outcome will be bad for them. By showing them that the outcome will be better than they think, I provide them with a counter judgment. When they release their hold on the original judgment and substitute the counter judgment, the intention dissolves and so does the anxiety produced by their attachment to it.

126. The Importance Of Attention

We discover at an early age that it’s important to pay attention. By paying attention, we figure out how things work, and when we understand how things work it’s easier to get what we need. We gain not only knowledge but also stronger intuitions about life.

Awareness is our intuitive understanding of experience. It expands through attention to the experiences we have. By paying attention to the objects, events, and people we discover in the world, to the thoughts, feelings, memories, and imaginings that arise in the self, and to the relationships between all of these various things, our awareness continuously expands.

125. Like A Living Heart

To write from a blank page can be daunting. You begin with nothing other than perhaps a single idea and from there you must somehow create language. What necessarily emerges from such a process is a text that is raw and rough. It lacks the smoothness that comes with revision, with the careful work of rounding the edges and improving the flow.

But despite its blemishes and idiosyncrasies, a first draft can be captivating. For it expresses not only your original thought process but also the predominant feelings you have as you write. This is the text that is closest to you, as it has not yet been subject to the refinements that would help it fulfill the requirements of a possible reader. It is only and exactly what you intuitively felt it must be in the moment of writing.

124. Choosing A Life

You’re following a certain path when you realize there might be a better one. When should you change course? If the choice is a minor one, then maybe it doesn’t matter whether or not you switch. But what if the decision will change your entire life?

We’re usually taught that we should make the change when it would help us reach our desired goals more quickly. In doing so, we’re supposed to account for both the potential benefits and the potential costs. The result is that our choice turns into an optimization problem: we should choose the option where the benefits will most exceed the costs. In this way, we maximize the probability of achieving our goals, which is supposed to be the best possible thing.

123. Just Breathe And Be

I’m already rushing when the rain starts. At first it’s only a gentle shower and I ignore it, but it soon intensifies into a downpour. I start to wonder if I should seek shelter. My umbrella is functional but the water is coming down with such overwhelming force that I won’t be able to keep much of me dry.

I pause under an awning and check the time. I’m going to be late for my appointment if I don’t keep moving. I detest being late. Someone expects me to be there, and I should be there. I have to keep going. It’s only four blocks and if I walk fast, I can still make it on time.

122. Radical Responsibility

If I’m forced to do something, are the actions I perform mine? If I’m compelled to say something, are the words I utter mine?

I want to say these actions and words are not mine because they do not come from my own will, and thus they have little to do with me. I want to say that these actions and words are the consequences of systems and laws I do not control but must still follow in order to survive, and thus I cannot be responsible for them. I want to say these things because the alternative is too much to bear.

121. A More Immediate Need

When people with power bring harmful changes to your community, your attention is immediately captured. You cannot look away from what is happening because you know the changes will have meaningful consequences. You feel anxious because you can see that the people you care about will be harmed. You hate what is happening, and you oppose it with every fibre of your being. You are angry at those who are responsible and outraged that such a thing is even possible.

120. Particularly Unimportant

It’s not a particular activity you participate in or a special kind of work you do. It’s not a particular book you’ve read or a set of ideas you possess. It’s not a particular experience you’ve had or have not had. It’s not a particular set of principles you follow or an organization you belong to. It’s not a particular belief or collection of beliefs. None of these things determine whether or not you will act from compassion.

119. From Conflict To Harmony

Creativity seems to require us to abandon rules and order. Growth seems to require us to let go of the structure we have already built. Unity seems to require us to get rid of any distinction between the parts. But we do not need to abandon anything. In the realm of concepts, it is possible to have it all.

When we artificially restrict ourselves to this or that position, we limit our understanding. We can instead allow for both and recognize the advantage of flexibility. Rigid attachment to a single perspective is the source of countless problems. In addition to the suffering it produces, we also become unable to see the full range of possibilities open to us, as we have closed ourselves off from them in advance.