266. What It Means To Be Free

You are learning to stand on your own. You are learning how little you need and how much you need. You are learning that your needs are different from your desires. You are learning that your desires can pull you away from what you need. You are learning that the things you hate or fear or even just dislike can do the same. You are learning that you can’t get rid of your desires or your aversions. You are learning that they exist because you believe some things are good and other things are bad. You are learning that every belief is also a kind of delusion. You are learning that beliefs can pull you away from what you need. You are learning that it’s easy to become attached to the things you believe. You are learning that sometimes you don’t even realize you’re acting based on a belief that is also a delusion. You are learning that your reasons for doing something are not always your actual motivations. You are learning that your desires and aversions can be interpreted as beliefs and vice versa. You are learning that you need to become more aware of the world and yourself. You are learning that you sometimes do things and only later come up with reasons for doing them. You are learning that you do this in order to explain and justify yourself within the system of rules and norms in which you have been raised and now live. You are learning that this system is useful but also arbitrary and constructed. You are learning that you do not have to follow its commands but that it’s sometimes beneficial for you to do so. You are learning that freedom is different from what you thought it was. You are learning that to be free is to be liberated from attachment and to act from compassion towards yourself and others. You are learning that you can be free regardless of what other people say or do to you. You are learning that you are as responsible as any other person for everything that happens. You are learning to stand on your own.

265. Beginnings And Endings

You want to create a new artwork but you can’t seem to get started. You’re worried about beginnings and endings. You aren’t sure where to begin or how you’ll reach an end result that makes any sense.

You don’t want to start because you’re concerned that what you would make will be incomprehensible. You want your ideas to fit together into a consistent and unified form. You want the meaning of your creation to be obvious to you and to anyone who sees it. You want it to be clear and powerful from beginning to end and never confused or muddled.

264. Solving Problems

When I’m facing several complicated problems at once, my attention can easily become unstable. I feel like I need to address every problem at the same time, and as a result, I’m not able to solve any of them very well.

In a world of constant connectivity, it can seem like every problem is always present and in need of my immediate attention. But this is never true. There is always more time than it seems, but I’m unable to see this because I’m under the control of attachment.

263. Always Questioning

What she wants most is to understand herself. She’s always thinking through her experiences, always questioning herself and everything that happens to her. She wants to see what is true in her and what is false. She wants to know why she does one thing instead of another. She wants to comprehend the whole reality of the person that she is.

Sometimes she thinks about these things too much. When she’s aware of this happening, she forces herself to stop. Her deepest questions have to remain unanswered, and this bothers her. Her own self seems to belie explanation, as if it were somehow beyond her possible understanding. She doesn’t know if things will ever become clearer, but she continues to look everywhere for answers.

262. Technological Change

Every new technology revives the worry that we might have gone too far. We become concerned that our new creation has taken something away from what it is to be human and deprived us of meaning and purpose. It is only with time that we see that while we have lost something, we have also found new sources of meaning, in addition to the material benefits that the new technology has produced.

261. Understanding Pain

No one likes unwanted pain and most pain is unwanted. When we are experiencing pain, we usually want to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Some of the pain we experience is wholly unnecessary. It is caused by choices that we or other people have made and it would not have occurred otherwise. This includes the pain caused by systems and institutions human beings have created and support, which can inflict incredible harm on our minds and bodies.

260. Time For Creativity

When I’m feeling anxious about my ability to meet my immediate needs, it can feel impossible to do anything creative. I might think that it’s only when my needs have been fully met that I’ll be comfortable enough to be creative again. But the time for creative action is always now. It’s by thinking and acting creatively that I can best address my needs and solve the problems I’m facing.

259. What I Should Do

There are countless things I should do. I should exercise at least three times per week. I should say “thank you” when someone helps me. I should put the “e” before the “i” when I’m spelling the word “weight”. I should drive slowly near the elementary school. I should tell my friend I’m going to be late. I should get at least seven hours of sleep each night.

Some of these shoulds feel more important than others, but the source of their force is always me. It’s always my choice as to whether or not a particular should will be enforced. This is true even when there are others who will impose a penalty on me if I don’t follow the rule or norm, for my desire to avoid the penalty is yet another should, namely “I should not do anything that will get me punished.”

258. The Fog

I am surrounded by a thick fog. In every direction I look, the fog is impenetrable. I can see only what’s right in front of me, and even that is difficult to discern. When I recognize something and feel confident I know what it is and must be, it’s quickly swallowed by the fog again, and I’m left wondering where it went or if it even existed in the first place.