459. Imperfect Intuitions

As I experience more of life, I develop a greater understanding of myself and the world around me. This awareness is not a kind of knowledge that I can easily put into words. It is more like the understanding of how to do something. Once I’ve learned how to do it, I don’t need anything like language or reason to do it again, because my understanding is immediately and intuitively available.

458. Shockingly Simple

Staring off into space, she feels a hint of anxiety developing in her. An unspecific worry about the future, a feeling she is quite familiar with. Before it can take hold, she shakes her head and smiles. Everything is shockingly simple.

On one level, the thought amuses her, because her life isn’t simple at all. She has so many responsibilities and it’s a nightmare to fulfill all of her obligations. But on another level, she recognizes it also expresses a resounding truth. All of the complexities and complications that seem to matter so much actually do not matter. She does not have to allow herself to get caught up in it all.

457. Shared Intentions

Every intention is the product of a reflective judgment. When I have a concern about something it is because I have reflected on a possible future that I judge will be bad for me in some way. Since this judgment could always be otherwise, the aversion that I have to this outcome is intentional. This doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve given conscious thought to the matter. Reflective judgments like this often happen so automatically that it feels like they don’t happen at all.

456. To Forgive And Forget

Tools to record and document our experiences are more accessible than ever before. It is no longer mere fantasy to consider recording every second of the life of a human being from birth to death. Already we record countless events through journals, messages, photos, videos, and other media technologies.

We continue to augment our internal memory with records stored outside of our bodies. The body is, of course, capable of forgetting what is no longer needed, and when our lives come to an end, its memories stop existing entirely. But the part of our memory that is held in external media will not disappear like this. It will remain until it is erased or perhaps until it is physically destroyed. Forgetting now seems to require that we actively take measures to delete what is no longer needed.

455. The Reflective Trap

To become more aware, I need to reflect on what I’ve done and what I will do. I need to use all of my powers of inquiry to examine my experiences and ask myself questions about what I find there. It is by exploring my memories and imaginings that I can become more aware, and thus more inclined to act with compassion towards myself and others.

But sometimes I become trapped in the reflective state. If I continue to analyze my past actions not out of the need for awareness but because I have regrets, then I am trapped. If I continue to plan out my future actions not out of the need for purpose but because I have anxieties, then I am trapped.

454. Imagining A Context

An isolated fragment looks suspicious. It seems to say something, but its meaning is not clear. What is its purpose? What is its connection to everything else? Your initial response is one of doubt. You doubt that such a limited text could have value. You complain that it lacks context, that it is not situated, that it is missing necessary details. All of this amounts to a concern that the text cannot be understood in its present form.

453. The Last Time

You are here talking to me, yet you seem to be somewhere else. Where this other place is, I do not know. But I can see in your eyes and hear in your voice that you are not with me, and this fills me with an overwhelming despair. Your absence has created a chasm between us, one that I cannot bridge alone. Even with all of my attention focused on you, there is nothing I can do that will bring you closer to me.

452. Subject And Object

A human being longs to be both subject and object. The desire to be a subject, to be the one who is “I”, is the want to be more than an object that is only manipulated and used. It is the want to decide for oneself, to be absolutely free to make every choice. It is the want not only to perceive the world and feel it, but to think about it, reflect on it, and make plans for the future. It is the want to be no less than any other subject and equally responsible for life. It is the want to be separate from the world, to be a kingdom to oneself, to be capable of resisting all that is other. It is the want to dream and imagine and create, to change the world by adding something entirely new to it.

451. Leaping Ravines

When someone does something terribly wrong, we are outraged. We want to express our disapproval, our displeasure, and perhaps even our anger. We want everyone to know that we condemn these actions. We want them to understand that we will not stand for what has been done, as it was entirely unacceptable.

At the same time, there are others who disagree with our judgment. They see what was done not as wrong, but as correct and good. These others also become targets of our ire. We cannot understand how they could think that wrongdoing is actually rightdoing, which outrages us further. Two camps then form, each deeply opposed to the other. There is no trust between the groups, for each side feels their values are superior. Both sides think that the other is deluded by their beliefs.