359. Unappreciated Acts

I have a strong intuition that there is something I must do. To leave it undone feels not just inappropriate but wrong. The action I feel I must take is not for me but for another person. Acting from awareness, I offer them something in a genuine attempt to help.

But for whatever reason, my offer is not well received. Instead of responding with gratitude, the recipient is upset. I consider again what I’ve done, but I cannot see any wrong in my actions. I believe that my offer was compassionate and it ought to have been accepted. Instead of allowing that I’ve made a mistake, I choose to blame the other.

Jumping to blame is a sign that something has gone wrong. A truly compassionate act will always be accepted. It is by definition something that helps to meet the needs of the other person. Of course, it’s possible that I’ve seen a need that the other hasn’t yet seen, but compassion must take this into account. My own awareness needs to include an awareness of the other’s awareness. Every act of compassion must be tailored to the person it is for or it will not be able to meet any need or provide any help.

The problem is that my awareness is more deficient than I believe it to be. I do not want to acknowledge any such lack. I thought I was adequately aware and thus my actions would be compassionate ones. But this is a further indicator that I’m not nearly as free of attachment as I think I am. In particular, I’m attached to the belief that my awareness is strong enough to show me the compassionate course of action in every situation.

This attachment is extremely dangerous, for it leads to the self-righteous belief that I’m always doing good and it’s only the actions of others that are wrong. From here, it’s a short journey to adopting the destructive cynicism that will cause me to stop offering my supposedly good actions to those who are not adequately grateful for them.