463. A Thing Freely Chosen

What he hates most is the feeling that he is being forced. There are countless tasks he knows he must do even though he doesn’t like doing them. He knows this is just part of life. Everyone has to do things they don’t like doing, and he doesn’t expect to be exempt from paying this tax.

He is willing to pay, but he wants to select his means of payment. He wants to be able to choose it for himself. When there is no choice, when he is forced down a single path, his entire being resists what he is expected to do. The worst instances of this are when a task is thrust upon him at the last minute. Then he is suddenly forced to contend with an additional burden that disrupts the order and calm he has established.

It’s the lack of notice that most frustrates him, and not just because it allows for time between the present moment and what must be done. With notice, he can properly consider what the world is asking of him. Even though the conclusion is forgone — he must do the thing, after all — the act of considering allows him to reflect on what he must do.

Through reflection, he sees more clearly what he doesn’t like in it, while at the same time coming to accept that it must be his. By taking it as his own, he makes it his choice. This is true even when he has no viable alternative. What he gains is the opportunity to reconcile his present being with the being that he must become.

Once this reconciliation has taken place, he can handle any situation, no matter how annoying, terrible, or disgusting. He can put his whole being into it, without even a drop of resistance. For now it is not imposed on him by an external force, but a thing freely chosen. Now it is a burden that he can see is truly his to bear.