462. Tolerating Debate

To properly consider our beliefs, we need to be alone. With the time and space granted by solitude and freedom from the judgment of others, we feel comfortable enough to posit alternatives and explore where we might land. Here, we are capable of considering ideas we would not otherwise entertain, and we might even end up changing our minds.

But once we enter a public space, everything changes. Here, we have no tolerance for criticism. We do not want to see our values or beliefs diminished by others. We especially do not want to see them diminished by others who seem different from us. Here, everything we support is held to be final and permanent. We want our conclusions to be the conclusions, and we want our values to be the values.

Anything that might publicly undermine our position feels like an attack that must be repelled. We want to assure ourselves of our correctness. We want to feel confident that we are the defenders of truth. When the criticism aimed at us feels especially damaging, we respond to it with hostility. We might even go so far as to banish our critics from the arena, granting ourselves a space totally secure in our delusions.

It is often lost on us that these beliefs that we hold so fervently are delusions. But every belief becomes a kind of delusion when it is held with the force of attachment. At the same time, there are some beliefs that seem necessarily true to us. Beliefs about fundamental rights, about the equality of people, about the value of human life seem incontrovertible to us. But to focus on this is to miss the problem.

The problem is not what we believe, but our relationship with our beliefs. We have allowed our beliefs to control our actions and direct our attention in ways that perpetuate suffering. To react to criticism with hostility is to perpetuate suffering. To terminate inquiry and shut down debate is to perpetuate suffering. To impose absolutes of any kind is to perpetuate suffering. These actions not only inhibit awareness from developing in ourselves and others, they also impede any possibility of a more compassionate response to our critics.