37. A Collection Of Pathways

A frequent companion of the active reader is the reading list. My list is is long, varied, and poorly organized. Entries sometimes include details on a book’s content, but often they are nothing but a title.

My list is, in fact, several lists. I abandon them periodically, starting a new one whenever I feel the existing list no longer suits me. But while I stop adding to the old lists, I never delete them. I hold on to them out of the belief that what interested me once might be useful again in the future. Sometimes this is actually true.

36. The Flexibility To See

To avoid what makes me uncomfortable is to limit my own awareness.

I see harm being done and I turn away from it. I read an article that is contrary to my views and I disregard it. I hear someone offering an opinion that I hate and I plug my ears. In every case, I have closed myself off from part of the world. It is the part of the world that I do not like — the part that goes against my values, the part I judge to be bad.

35. A More Joyful Life

We go to great lengths to disguise our misery. We are suffering deeply inside, but we do not want to see it or let it be seen. We try to hide it, not just from others, but also from ourselves.

We tell ourselves we are happy when in reality we are suffering. We try to distract ourselves from this reality by whatever means we can find, but mostly by what gives us pleasure. We will do anything to avoid the idea that our way of life is not working and we do not know how to live better. To admit we are suffering feels like a fatal declaration of weakness.

34. Breaking The Rules

The rules that govern our lives often feel solid and permanent. We believe we should follow these rules because they reflect the established way of doing things. We especially believe this when the rules have been written down and formalized into a code or law. We sometimes believe we shouldn’t deviate from the rules or modify them in any substantial way. We might even go so far as to believe that our current system of rules is the only one feasible.

33. In Your Own Way

When you’re about to embark on a new creative project, you might first seek out some feedback on your idea from people you know. Someone more experienced might then tell you that “you need to do it this way.” When you ask them why it must be done in this particular way, they might then tell you “that’s just the way it’s done.”

This well-meant advice is entirely prudent. Human beings are creatures of habit, and if you want to make something that attracts their attention, you’re better off doing it in a way that matches their existing expectations.

32. The Name Of The Poet

It was impossible for me not to feel excited when you told me you liked to read. Books are my favourite things. You asked me what sorts of books I read and I enthusiastically listed a number of authors at random. You told me you’d read some of them — two or three, or maybe it was four. I was so happy to hear it that I couldn’t properly process your words.

31. My Nature Is Change

The world is constantly changing. What is formed dissolves. What is alive dies. What is built falls apart. Some things last longer than others, but nothing lasts forever.

Against this truth, I try to create something permanent, something I can rely on, something that will outlast change itself. Perhaps I do this because I can see that I am also constantly changing. My life is short — my body will decay and fall apart and my personal consciousness will eventually come to an end. I want to halt this process. I want to stabilize my existence. I want to preserve what I have.

30. Happy Or Joyful

Happiness and joy are not the same thing.

Happiness comes from satisfying my desires, from getting what I want, from living the life that I want. Happiness is rational and so it can be explained and justified. When I am happy, there is a reason I am happy. Happiness is a result — it is what I get when I am successful.

Joy comes when I am actively doing something and only while I remain active. It arises without reason or justification and stays regardless of circumstance, struggle, or pain. It is inexplicable and irrational. An action that provides no joy one day could bring joy the next. Joy can even arise from an action that also brings pain and unhappiness.

29. Today's Poems Are Tomorrow's Language

Poetry is powerful because it takes us beyond the reaches of our everyday language. A poem is a text that points at something outside of it, something for which words are not enough.

The more we use language, the more we find ourselves trapped inside it, unable to find the words to express what we want to say, and as such, unable to communicate our meaning to others. To escape this prison, we write poems — tricks of language that indicate the thing in question without ever naming it. This trickery is not always successful, which makes writing effective poetry difficult.