216. You Must Save Yourself

We want to live happily, yet we suffer. We reflect on our experience and we wonder why we must suffer. Why must life be like this? We recognize there is a problem but we do not grasp its nature. We think something is missing, something we need to find, something that will complete us. We think there is a secret we could discover that would guarantee us endless pleasure and happiness.

We’re told by others that our suffering arises from the way we live. We’re told that we need to look at the world differently. We’re told that we need to live a simpler life, with fewer concerns and desires. We’re told that we need to be more organized, more intentional, and more in control. But even if we do all of these things, we still regularly experience suffering.

It’s true that our suffering arises from our way of life, from our perspective, from the unnecessary complexity we create, and from our reactive and distracted behaviour. But these are only symptoms of the problem. The problem is that we are profoundly attached to the things we want, the things we fear, and the things we believe. We are so attached that we cannot see beyond these things and they become our entire identity. Our attention and actions are constantly manipulated by our attachments and as a result we become trapped in suffering.

To end your suffering, you must loosen your attachments. It’s by allowing your attention to be open and free that you become more aware of your desires, aversions, and beliefs, and the particular attachments you’ve formed to them. It’s also how you see the direct connection between attachment and the suffering you’re personally experiencing. As your awareness of these things improves, you start to become capable of breaking free from attachment.

The only person who can make you more aware is you. Others can encourage your awareness, they can provide you with opportunities to see more, but it is you who must allow yourself to look. The more of the world and your own self that you block yourself from seeing, the more you prevent your awareness from growing. You must let everything in. You must become more sensitive to all things. You must allow your awareness to expand and deepen. The only person who can liberate you from suffering is you.