135. We Will Do Anything

We will do anything to avoid the problem. We will devise countless means of escaping confrontation. We will put up walls. We will isolate ourselves. We will do whatever we must to limit meaningful contact with the other. We will cut off anyone who sees through us and anyone who sees more than they should. We will hide from others because they might force us to change and we want nothing less than to change. We want everything to stay exactly the same. We want to maintain our comfortable lives and we will go to great lengths to preserve them. We will use every tool at our disposal. We will say anything, do anything, just so that we do not have to consider the problem. We will spend hours, days, years looking for reasons to justify our lives and even invent them if none are readily available. We will lie and cheat. We will say whatever must be said to keep ourselves safe and secure. We will cast blame on others, not because they are at fault, but to highlight our own innocence in contrast. We will run from any talk of responsibility. We cannot handle even the possibility that we might be guilty. We will condemn anything and anyone if it gives us a chance to escape. We will even physically flee if we must. We will leave the room, the city, and maybe even the country. We will abandon everyone we know. We will create wholly new versions of ourselves. We will do this and more if it means we can get away from looking at the problem. We will try all of these things and still we will fail. We will always fail. We will fail because the problem was never anything we could run from, never something we could escape. We will fail because the problem has always been us.