82. Tragic Lessons

You’re watching a dramatic film with a complex plot and relatable characters. The film is beautiful but it’s also difficult to watch. The characters struggle endlessly with their problems, and things keep going badly for them. For a variety of reasons, they are unable to catch a break.

You can’t help but empathize with their concerns and feelings. The protagonist is a good person but she keeps making mistakes. Her mistakes bring great harm and suffering. She suffers and the people around her suffer. It’s painful to watch this unfold. There’s a sinking feeling inside you that you can’t seem to shake. It’s the sense that tragedy is inevitable. The story cannot possibly end well.

You consider abandoning the film and doing something else instead. But before you do so, you notice yourself considering this, and you realize you’ve been here before. You feel uncomfortable because you identify with the protagonist. You can see yourself in her situation and you can see yourself making her mistakes. Your reaction to that is one of intense aversion. You want to get away from this story as quickly as you can.

But by noticing your own reaction, you’re now able to counteract it. You decide to keep watching. You choose to continue because you know you’re learning something, even though it’s painful. You’re learning about yourself and about what it means to be a human being. You’re learning that there’s no such thing as perfection. You’re learning that people are flawed, including yourself. You’re learning that you’ve harmed yourself and others in the past and you might do it again.

All of these realizations are part of your reality, and you’re forced to accept them. You know acceptance is the only way because you’ve been here before, and you already know that trying to ignore these things only prolongs suffering. The solution is not to turn away, but to lean in, to become even more sensitive to yourself and others. It’s when you’re both sensitive and attentive that you give yourself a chance to prevent suffering from happening in the first place.