290. The Paradox Of Compassion

To act from compassion, I need to be engaged with everything that is happening, both in me and out in the world, but without being attached to any of it. I need to be connected to everything but also separate from it. It is in this paradoxical state that I must live.

As I experience the world, I automatically form desires, aversions, and beliefs. These intentions are neither good nor bad in themselves, but if I become attached to them, I will start to suffer. I will suffer because my attention is constrained to achieving my intended ideals and this prevents me from meeting my needs and the needs of the people around me.

The suffering produced by attachment not only consumes energy, but also limits my ability to respond to what is happening. To be compassionate, I need to be sensitive to everything and everyone. Such sensitivity is not possible when I am profoundly attached because my attention and actions will be concentrated on satisfying my desires, fleeing from my aversions, and confirming my beliefs.

Compassionate action requires that I be fully present and responsive to what is happening, while also maintaining the distance that allows me to remain free of attachment. There is no escaping the paradoxical nature of compassion, and perhaps the most challenging problem of awareness is to see that this paradox is livable and that I can adopt this seemingly contradictory position.

To be capable of seeing this, I must first see the nature of my own suffering, how it arises from attachment, and how it can also end. I must also see that it is possible for me to relinquish control and allow myself to respond intuitively to what I perceive in the world and in myself.

Compassion therefore requires enormous trust. I have to trust that the intuitions I’ve developed through years of experience will guide me well and that the actions that follow from them will be good ones. In every moment, I must be both free and engaged, flexible and determined, detached and connected. It is from this paradoxical position that my actions will be most compassionate and help to create joy for myself and others.