366. The Force Of Attachment

Think about your worst defeat, the time you tried your very best and still did not succeed. Think about the most embarrassing day of your life, the one you will never be able to forget. Think about the death of a loved one who is still living, an inevitability that you dread. Think intensely about these things. Think about the worst parts of them, the parts you most want to avoid.

If you do this, you will feel yourself mentally squirming in an attempt to get away from these thoughts. Notice this feeling and examine it carefully. It’s terrible to look at these things. You want to escape. You want to do anything other than think about this. Perhaps the feeling is so strong that you’re also physically squirming. Pay attention to this feeling too and consider its nature.

You are suffering under the force of attachment. You are actively experiencing how a particular intention to which you are attached can pull your attention away. In this case, the intention is your aversion to thinking about horrible things. You want to make the bad thoughts go away, by whatever means necessary.

An intention can only compel you so strongly when you’re attached to it. You identify with your past experiences and with the people you love. You’re unable to see how these things are also not you. The result is that your aversion easily dominates you. It pushes you to look away from the the whole of your experience. This is how attachment produces suffering, and how it can cause you to make choices that limit your ability to see truth and respond to it.

With greater awareness, you would still have the same aversion but you wouldn’t be moved by it. You would notice the forces present and allow them to depart just as quickly as they arrived. This doesn’t necessarily mean you would feel them any less strongly. You would still feel embarrassment or sadness or pain. But these feelings would not persist and they would not be able to manipulate your attention or actions to produce further suffering.

Everything that arises also departs. Everything that is connected is also separate. To see this always, you must look closely at the relationship between your own intentions and the suffering you experience. You must recognize that it is genuinely possible for you to be free of attachment.