36. The Flexibility To See

To avoid what makes me uncomfortable is to limit my own awareness.

I see harm being done and I turn away from it. I read an article that is contrary to my views and I disregard it. I hear someone offering an opinion that I hate and I plug my ears. In every case, I have closed myself off from part of the world. It is the part of the world that I do not like — the part that goes against my values, the part I judge to be bad.

I have allowed my judgments to occlude my sight. I have prevented myself from seeing the world as it really is. I have prevented myself from becoming aware of other people and their views and judgments. By blocking out part of the world, my judgments solidify and I become solid with them.

When I am solid, it is impossible for my attention to move around so that I can see things fully and clearly. It is also impossible for me to investigate myself critically and ask questions that keep me open to the world. I have become delusional — I believe my own view of the world, my singular subjectivity, is the ultimate reality. But it is not, and it never will be.

No matter how confident I am in my ability to accurately evaluate the world, my judgments are not reality. When a judgment becomes solid, then I am fully attached to it. And being so attached, I will strongly desire those things I judge to be good and I will strongly oppose those things I judge to be bad. I will allow my actions to be manipulated by my judgments and I will be distracted from doing what I must. As a direct result, I will perpetuate the cycle of suffering for myself and others.

To prevent this, I must remain open at all costs. I must take in the entire world, even the parts that feel wrong, even the parts that make me anxious, even the parts that I hate. All of it must be allowed in, without exception. It is by allowing everything in that I grant myself the flexibility to see all of the world clearly, including the parts I do not like.