151. Paying Attention To Attention

In a world so vast and varied, there are endless things to see. Curiosity pulls my attention away from whatever is ordinary and towards whatever seems new or out of place. I investigate what I see, gaining knowledge about the world and developing a greater awareness of it.

My attention is especially drawn to the things I like — the objects of my desires. Conversely, my attention tends to flee from the things I dislike — the objects of my aversions. But when my attention is stuck between the boundaries constructed by my desires and aversions, the range and depth of my vision will be severely limited. There are important facets of my experience I will necessarily miss and this will inhibit the ability of my awareness to expand.

To open my attention, I must liberate it. I must allow it to be free to wander when it needs to wander and to linger when it needs to linger. To do this, I need to develop a higher level of attention — attention to the condition of my attention itself. But I have to be careful in doing this. Any kind of self-monitoring can be harmful if I become attached to particular beliefs about what I should be. Rather than imposing an ideal of attention, I simply want to learn to notice when the scope of my attention has become limited.

When I see that my attention is too focused and narrow, I can gently release it from its target and allow it to wander freely again. I have to remember that any attempt to control or force my attention to go somewhere will only work against its freedom. This means I need to examine the attachments that pull my attention in one direction or another. If I’m able to see how these attachments also produce suffering, then I will no longer permit them to manipulate my attention in this way.

It is by allowing my attention to remain as open and free as possible that my awareness expands. And when my awareness is broad, I’m sensitive to both myself and the world around me, and I can see what is needed to create joy for myself and others.