13. Others Like Him

Every morning he goes through the same process when he wakes. It takes place automatically as his consciousness returns to him. As the calm serenity of the dreamscape recedes, he becomes situated in the world — not only in the physical world of his body, but also in the virtual world of life and work and other people. He enters conscious reality and he feels inside himself a void appear and grow prominent.

He has become aware that he is alone in the world, separated from others. No matter how close they might seem, they do not experience the world just as he does. His experience is singular, forever his alone, a possession he does not want but that he is forced to accept.

The society in which he lives offers little respite from this feeling of isolation. Instead, it further alienates him. Its rules and boundaries hinder every opportunity for the relationships with others he so desperately needs. He feels there is no way in. He feels he is stuck in a permanent outside, bereft of community and closeness.

For him there is only conflict and competition, an endless stream of unsatisfied desires and haunting worries. Everywhere around him there are walls. They are the walls that people use to keep others out, to feel safe and protected. He constructs his own walls too, for he feels it would be wrong to act differently. When opportunities for connection arise, he tries his best but in the end he feels only frustration. An intense frustration because everyone seems to be living lives so different from his own. They have different values and priorities, and connection feels impossible.

Still, there is a part of him that says this cannot be true. There must be others like him. There must be something shared. A common humanity, if nothing else. If only he could get past his interminable worrying. He worries about sharing his thoughts, about breaking the rules, about being seen as himself.

He knows he needs to try to exist without filters or barriers, and without pretending, too. He needs to simply be human and share in the humanity of others. Is this something he can do?