422. One-Sided Awareness

You’re paying attention to the world around you. You know what’s going on and you can see all of the problems, near and far, present and approaching. You know there is suffering everywhere. You can see that life is an incredible struggle for so many people and that it is likely to get worse.

The future looks unmistakably bleak. Instead of problems being solved and suffering reduced, it seems more likely that problems will multiply and suffering will expand. It feels almost impossible not to feel pessimistic, and not just about the world at large, but about your own life as well.

You’re paying attention and you’re aware, which means you empathize deeply with the suffering of others. You feel their suffering as if it were your own, which means you’re also suffering greatly, possibly more than many of the people closest to you. You attribute this to the fact that you see more of what’s happening than they do, and there is some truth to this.

Greater awareness means greater empathy, so you feel more of the suffering of others as your awareness broadens. But the extent of your own suffering is a signal that your awareness has become too one-sided. You are profoundly aware of what is happening in the world, but your awareness of your own self is lacking.

You must also see how your own suffering arises, and how it can expand through attachment to valued intentions. Because you care deeply, you have developed strong attachments to beliefs about how the world should be. You know that it can and should be more just, more fair, and more compassionate. Regularly witnessing the world not only fall short of these ideals but actively oppose them produces enormous suffering for you.

By allowing your attention to turn towards yourself, you gain the opportunity to learn how your suffering can be transformed into joy. It is only when your awareness of self grows to match to your already impressive awareness of world that you will be able to live with incredible hope even in an impossibly difficult world.