233. Never Settle Down

She knows she’ll eventually have to settle. She knows this because it’s what always happens. Her thoughts get so far ahead of her that she imagines herself having a future so perfect and beautiful and true before considering whether any of it is realistic. There are so many things she wants, simply because her ideals are so lofty.

She knows she won’t achieve everything and she’ll have to settle for something less. How much less she does not know, but she’s hoping for at least something better than what she has at present. And she knows she’s not the only one who’ll have to settle. Her friends also have dreams they probably won’t fully attain. They too will have to accept whatever small good they can reach.

To settle is not the worst thing, she thinks. The worst thing would be to abandon her ideals entirely. To stop working towards something better just because she knows she isn’t likely to get all the way there. She’s learning to accept this, but it’s not easy and frequently painful. It’s difficult to keep pushing forward while also having to settle so often.

What she will not accept is that she has to settle down. Under no circumstances will she accept that. She could not survive a boring life of quiet and peace. There are things she must do and she intends to do as many of them as possible. She won’t get everything she wants but she’ll make real and tangible progress. Some of her progress will be made out in the world and some of it will be made inside her. She knows that change has to begin in her own self for it to also become real in the world.

She will keep pushing herself forward. She will become more than she already is. She will keep moving, changing, growing — always and in each and every moment. She will keep doing these things until the day death snatches her from this world.