296. Necessary Choices

Having the freedom to choose can make us anxious. Our choices have a real impact on both our lives and the lives of others, and we worry about the harm we might cause if we choose badly.

We know that freedom means responsibility and we do not like this because it seems to imply that we have to be careful with our choices. For each and every decision we make, we could also choose otherwise, which means it is always possible to make the wrong choice. We want instead to be free without responsibility, to be able to choose without having to consider the consequences.

But as we cannot do this without risking enormous harm, we need to examine more closely the relationship between freedom and responsibility. If we can see that our actions must follow from our responsibility to ourselves and the people around us, then suddenly those actions are no longer mere products of contingent choice but also necessary ones.

It is precisely the feeling of absolute contingency that produces so much anxiety over our most important choices. It is because we know we could be pulled away from what is best by another option we might want more or fear less that freedom can feel like a curse instead of a blessing.

When we see the full scope of our responsibility, it becomes much less likely that we will be pulled away by our desires or aversions. We then understand that responsible actions are those that we must necessarily take to meet needs. We feel this because one of the things we also see is that we are not entirely separate from others: your need is my need and vice versa.

When our awareness is broad and deep, we understand that empathy is not optional. Empathy is a fundamental part of our sensory apparatus, which means the needs of others cannot be ignored without effectively lobotomizing ourselves.

In seeing that we must necessarily respond to all need, we also discover that our choices are not just contingent but also necessary. By allowing ourselves to act from the necessity of compassion, we grant ourselves the opportunity to reduce suffering and create joy for ourselves and the people around us.