282. Mysterious Joy

Joy cannot be sought and it cannot be conquered. To make joy my intentional goal will not bring it to me any faster. Trying to control my actions in order to reach joy will not succeed, for joy is not something that can be controlled.

I cannot directly choose joy for myself in this moment or in any moment. Joy ignores my intentions just as it ignores any effort to keep it. I cannot choose joy any more than I can refuse it. Joy arrives on its own and when it arrives I must experience it. I get it whether I want it or not, for joy has nothing to do with want.

Joy is not something I do, but it does arise from action. I cannot reach joy by living passively. But not just any action will bring joy, and an action that once brought joy might not bring it again. The action that brought joy yesterday might only bring suffering today. Equally, an action that brought great suffering before might now bring incredible joy.

It is not the actions themselves that seems to matter but the origin of the actions. When I act from attachment to a desire, an aversion, or a belief, with the goal of producing happiness for myself, then the possibility of joy is reduced. When I act instead from compassion, in response to the needs I see in myself or others, then the possibility of joy increases.

Still, there is never any guarantee joy will arrive. Joy remains a mystery. If I could see which actions are most compassionate in every moment, I might have such an overwhelming chance at joy that its arrival would feel inevitable. But my awareness is always imperfect and never complete. There is always more I must see and more I must do, which means there is always more joy possible in each and every moment.