294. My Own Needs

Awareness of my own needs can be just as limited as any other part of my awareness. This might seem strange because I expect to have at least some idea of what I need, but this is not always the case.

Of course, there are many needs I am aware of: I need food to eat, I need shelter from inclement weather, I need connections with other human beings, and so on. I also know how to meet these needs. I know that if I feel hungry, I need to eat. I know that if I’m cold and wet, I need to find a place that is warm and dry. I know that if I feel lonely, I need to seek out other people. For each signal of need, the necessary response is already known because of my past experiences.

But what if I experience a signal for which I do not know the appropriate response? I might then try to seek out information from others to see if they know the need and how to meet it. Or I might try to experiment, following the thought that since the signal is similar to other signals, the solution might also be similar.

In the end, I might try several things and the signal will still persist. This can easily happen when it takes the form of general malaise, despair, or melancholy. Here, the signal does not seem to tell me which need is unmet and trying to analyze it does not reveal any obvious course of action.

Still, the general idea of looking for new information and experimenting with new approaches remains a good one. While the necessary solution might not be found immediately, the process of looking and experimenting will help to expand my awareness.

With greater awareness, I will see that to resolve my suffering, I must live differently. I must become more sensitive to myself and the world around me. I must loosen myself from attachment to my intentions so that my attention and actions become more open and free. It is when I do these things that I will also learn how to better recognize and meet my own needs.