123. Just Breathe And Be

I’m already rushing when the rain starts. At first it’s only a gentle shower and I ignore it, but it soon intensifies into a downpour. I start to wonder if I should seek shelter. My umbrella is functional but the water is coming down with such overwhelming force that I won’t be able to keep much of me dry.

I pause under an awning and check the time. I’m going to be late for my appointment if I don’t keep moving. I detest being late. Someone expects me to be there, and I should be there. I have to keep going. It’s only four blocks and if I walk fast, I can still make it on time.

I press forward into the rain. After less than a block, I notice the bottoms of my pants are soaked. But they’re navy blue so it won’t be that noticeable. I go about another block and the rain seems to be weakening. I can’t tell if that’s actually true or if it’s just what I’m telling myself. At this point, I’m open to deluded optimism.

It’s right then that a car comes speeding out of the exit to a parking garage. I manage to dodge it, but just barely. The car continues forward before stopping abruptly, and I wack the trunk with my palm out of frustration. But there’s no time to lose, and I carry on forward. Where was the driver looking? Certainly not at the sidewalk. How can someone be so oblivious of what is happening around them? Can they not see there are others using the street?

I’m off on a tirade of thoughts and questions when I notice my frustration is boiling into anger. I have to let this incident go or it will sour my entire mood. The appointment will go badly and that will make me even more upset. I can see this whole chain of suffering laid out before me.

I stop at the intersection to wait for the light to change. The rain is still relentless with no end in sight. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The cool air is calming. It grants me a moment of freedom from the heat of my feelings.

Let go of those who fail to pay attention. Let go of the rush to fulfill expectations. Let go of the rain and the frustration. Just breathe and be.