143. If Only They Would Look

The studio is always bright in the early morning. She loves when the light comes in like this — a blanket of sun that covers the entire room. It brings the space alive, transforming it from the grungy concrete box that it is into a real place populated by real people who make and share and live. People like her.

Illuminated by the sunlight, the paint-covered walls become intriguing canvases. She feels inspired and wants to pick up a brush and get to work. But today she cannot. There is someone coming to look at some pieces she finished months ago.

It always makes her nervous when she has to show her work to someone new. So often they only glance at it for a moment or two before politely thanking her for her time and rushing to the exit. She knows why this happens. Her work is challenging for the viewer. Some people even find it offensive. The objects and events she tends to portray are too much for them to handle.

She finds herself often wishing her audience had more patience for the work. She knows their feelings would change if they did. They would discover something true in it, something at least interesting if not exciting. She knows they probably wouldn’t buy anything, but still. If only they would look.

Sometimes she gets lucky. The viewer arrives and they are first surprised and then totally mesmerized. This excites her, mostly because it means she’s not entirely insane. It confirms that there is real value in her work.

A few years back, a man came to the studio with a stern face and few words for her. He looked carefully at each of her pieces, saying nothing at all. She thought for certain he was about to heel turn and march out of there. But he kept looking, staring really, even approaching some of the canvases for a close inspection. Eventually he uttered a single word: yes. She did not know what he meant by this. He continued to silently study her work.

In the end, he bought them all — every last one she had available. She couldn’t believe it. It was one of the best days of her life.