52. How To Be Honest

If I am not honest with myself then I run the risk of living a lie. I can easily delude myself into thinking something is real and true when it is actually fake and false.

To keep myself honest, I need to ask myself questions. I must question my intentions, I must question my understanding, and I must even question my values. By posing these questions, I gain an opportunity to become more aware of myself. But how do I know my answers will be honest ones?

When I reflect on a particular idea or belief, I eventually reach a conclusion that I accept. I accept it even though I might still have doubts. Acceptance simply means that I stop the process of reflection for now. I might take action based on my present understanding, but I must also leave room for future questions to arise. This means my accepted conclusion is never final and it can change over time.

Openness to change is fundamental to honesty. If my answers are so clear and final that they close me off from further questions, then I am at great risk of falling into delusion. I am at risk because I am not allowing for new information to arrive and I have forgotten that nothing is certain.

Even if I do fall into delusion, there is still hope as long as I remain open and attentive. For if I have not answered a question honestly, then it will not leave me alone. It will keep appearing in my thoughts, even though I believe it is already resolved. Deeper than any conscious thought, a powerful resistance to dishonesty resides in me. If I have not been fully honest, then I will intuitively feel I am being tricked — and I do not want to be tricked, not even by myself.

As long as I can notice this intuition, I can reopen the question and reflect on it again with even greater honesty. But if I try to bury my intuition using distractions and deceptions, then I will not be able to help myself. I will be tricked into living a lie.

I must pay attention to myself. I must keep asking myself questions. I must keep myself open to everything. As long as I do these things, I leave a path open towards a more honest and truthful life.