169. Goodness Is Generosity

When someone wrongs me, I might respond in a variety of different ways. I might return the harm in an attempt to quickly resolve the injustice. I might reprimand the wrongdoer and demand they do better. I might seek formal justice through the systems that have authority in my community. I might opt for a compassionate response that aims to prevent the wrong from happening again by helping the wrongdoer see the harm of their actions.

I might also choose to respond with some combination of these approaches. But this could undermine my effectiveness. If I respond with vengeance first, the wrongdoer might not be receptive to a compassionate response that comes later. I must immediately see how to respond in a way that will bring about the best possible result.

With the help of awareness, we can easily see that revenge will only produce more revenge, and that any attempt to bring down another person will only bring about our own downfall. We can see that casting blame hardens the other against us, and causes them to see us as their enemy. We can see that formal systems tend to rely on carceral solutions that only further injustice. Pursuing these paths will only perpetuate suffering instead of helping to eliminate it.

Part of being human is that we all will experience some degree of harm from others. That there is any goodness in the world means there are people willing to disregard the harm done to them and respond compassionately to it. They choose to absorb the wrongdoing rather than helping to perpetuate it.

Goodness is always like this. It is always taking in what we must receive from others and giving something better in return. Goodness is a kind of generosity. It is chosen out of the awareness that it is the only way for our lives, both individually and collectively, to get better — to become more caring and more loving.

Every time we act from compassion, we help others become more aware, and in doing so we generously provide another opportunity for goodness to grow and spread.