442. Frustrating Others

Interacting with others can be frustrating. They have endless problems that they are endlessly preoccupied with, and in their search for solutions, they often do things that are harmful instead of making their lives more joyful. You want them to change their ways, to see that a better life is possible, but they refuse to do so. Sometimes this refusal is because of stubbornness, but more often it occurs because their attention is totally distracted by their problems.

Many of these problems are not the fault of any single person, but rather ones that follow from the systems that structure society. With their lives complicated and their needs frustrated by these systems, it is no wonder that people are unable to pay attention to what is happening to them. They are suffering so much that they have not yet had an opportunity to discover the path out of suffering and towards joy.

The frustration you feel because of their unwillingness to examine their situation is also a form of suffering. Not only does it feel terrible, it can easily transform into other feelings like anger and hatred that can contribute to harm. The presence of suffering means that attachment is present. In this case, your attachment is most likely to a desire for the better world you can see is possible because of your awareness.

But while your awareness might extend as far as this, it does not yet go as far as seeing how your attachment puts you into conflict with others. It may very well be the case that you are suffering for the same reason everyone is suffering, namely that the systems that encourage attachment and manipulate attention have also constrained and limited you.

After all, it is because other people have an enormous influence on your life that you are so concerned with the actions they do or do not take to improve their situation. It is not only their own lives that would improve by ending their suffering but yours as well. Freedom from frustration follows from loosening your attachment, which then gives you a chance to see how you can meaningfully help others become more aware.