137. From Intention To Attachment

There are always many different things I could do. After considering the available options, I choose one over the others, which means I form an intention to pursue it. I then do whatever is necessary to fulfill my intention. This is an entirely normal way to go about life, but it can also be problematic.

The problem originates in my closeness to the intention. I might see it as not just something I would like to do, but as something I must do. This means I’ve become attached to the intention. I identify with it, and as such, I see its fulfillment as necessary for my own fulfillment. I become my own manager, carefully directing my attention and controlling my actions to satisfy the intention.

In this state, I’m distracted from my needs, so they begin to go unmet, and I suffer as a result. I feel unhappy where I am and I desperately want to reach happiness. But even if I achieve my goal, there will be no relief from suffering. For a new attachment can easily arise in its place. This might be nothing more than an attachment to the desire to preserve what I’ve already achieved, which can lead to further stress and anxiety.

I might see this problem from the start and simply decide that I won’t allow myself to become attached. But this solves nothing. All I’ve done is add another layer of intention, which I can just as easily become attached to. The only real solution is to release myself from the intention I identify with.

This might sound like madness because we are taught to focus on achieving our goals, and to discipline ourselves in order to attain success. But discipline and control mean attachment, and attachment means suffering. We might get what we want, but we also end up encumbered by suffering that hinders our overall success.

To release myself from an intention, I cannot use force. I need to see that the intention is not me — it is actually an object separate from me, the experiencing subject. I can only see this if I’m already deeply aware of myself and the world around me. This means I must be diligent about allowing my attention to remain open and free so that my awareness can expand. When I’m empty of attachment, I’m also unburdened by suffering, and that means I’m able to do what is necessary to meet needs and create joy.