376. Free To Forget

We’re always forgetting what we’re supposed to be remembering. When we realize we’ve forgotten, we feel troubled by the fact that yet another important memory has vanished. We suffer through the grief that things are slipping away from us that shouldn’t be.

The obligation to remember is a part of the vast network of social and ethical norms that make our society functional. We feel strongly that we need to remember in order to fulfill the many obligations we have to others. The result is that we form the belief that all of the little pieces of information we hold in our memories must be retained.

But nothing of genuine importance is ever forgotten. Everything we need to live well gets implanted so deeply in us that it could never be lost. Our past experiences shape our present perceptions in such a fundamental way that we cannot help seeing what we have already once noticed.

Every experience we have is like reading a long and complicated book. As time passes, we forget the majority of what we’ve read, but the truth of the book is never lost. The reality it has shown us is now forever part of us. No matter how many details we forget, our understanding never regresses to become more shallow or narrow. Every revelation of reality we encounter only further deepens and broadens our awareness.

We need to remember details in order to function in the normative world of society, but we do not need to remember details for life itself. Anything that obligates remembering is something we have created for ourselves. And how could it possibly be otherwise? Everything we know has arisen and will depart, just as everything that exists arises and then departs.

To exist in time is to be impermanent. This is not a loss, but a wonderful gift. It means we are released from the particulars of every experience after it has passed. We need not preserve what cannot help us create joy. We are free to live as entirely new beings in each and every moment.