142. Expanding Empathy

As my own empathy grows, the lack of empathy shown by others becomes more noticeable. I start to criticize them for being indifferent towards what seems like obvious suffering. I see them as lost in their own ignorance, as unwilling to even try to understand. And if they are particularly callous, I might even go so far as to declare them enemies of all that is right and good.

But when I do any of these things, I fail. Whenever I choose blame or hostility towards another person, I work against the very empathy I claim to support. The lack of empathy and compassion shown by others follows directly from their present situation. As long as they are in the grip of attachment to desires, aversions, and beliefs, their attention will be restricted and their awareness will remain narrow and limited. In such a state, they cannot do anything other than perpetuate suffering.

If I react with blame or hostility to insensitive words or actions then I am also acting from attachment. It could be an attachment to the belief that people should be empathetic or to the desire for a more compassionate society. My own attachment causes me to suffer indignation and lash out at others.

Blame being unwarranted does not mean that a person is not responsible for the suffering they produce, but rather that the responsibility does not end with them. All of us together are responsible for all of the suffering we collectively produce. The compassion that follows from empathy demands the liberation from suffering of not just myself but all others, too.

There is no room for blame or hostility. These reactions only serve to sustain conflict and drain the energy and resources I need to help myself and others become free. It is by receiving compassion that others can become more empathetic and compassionate. Compassion follows from awareness, and awareness follows from compassion. Every act of compassion further spreads awareness and helps to free others so that they too can join this great project of liberation.