55. Everything You Need

You desperately want to find someone who energizes and inspires you. You’re so tired of the endless small talk and the conversations about events, and media, and politics. You want genuine contact — connections alive with hope and breathing with possibility. You want substance, depth, and genuine stakes. You want there to be lives on the line.

You search and you search but you fail to find such a person. Everyone you meet feels cold. They lack the fire you so desperately desire. They do not live for beauty and ideas like you do. They do not seem to care about the things you feel are important or true. You do not seem to fit in anywhere. Your desires and beliefs do not seem to be shared.

You realize you are an alien, without any people of your own. You despair over this discovery. But you also tell yourself it isn’t true. Your people exist. They must exist because you find them in the books you read, so they must be out here in the world too. But where are they? And if you knew, would you be able to reach them? These questions haunt you.

Finding nothing for you in the world, you gradually start to spend more and more time by yourself. Your focus shifts to your work, so heavily that you often have little time for anything else. You work on projects that inspire you. You develop your ideas. You create artworks and you share them with others.

One day, you realize you’re no longer suffering. This is strange at first, but eventually you begin to accept it. You are standing alone and it feels fine. You’ve stopped trying to seek anything specific from others and your despair has vanished along with your desire. You still meet people, but without the expectation that your experience with them will be like what you once desired. You appreciate what is there, regardless of what you find.

From your acceptance, you discover your life is more than it once seemed. It’s richer, more vibrant, more full of possibility than you previously imagined. The world feels open to exploration, your connections with others feel meaningful, and your creative efforts finally feel satisfying. You are not missing anything or anyone. You already have everything you need.