324. Effective Arguments

When someone is wrong about something, I want to help them see the truth. I want to do this because I believe knowing the truth is an important part of living well.

To convince the other of their error, I offer them clear arguments based on facts and evidence. But to my surprise, they resist my arguments and supply counterarguments of their own. In response, I try to pile on more facts and evidence, countering every counter with an even better argument.

Several outcomes are then possible. Perhaps the other decides they are no longer interested in the conversation and they disengage. Perhaps they conclude their arguments are not as strong as they thought and they decide to think it over. Perhaps they even admit they got something wrong or made a mistake. But regardless of what happens, I’m inclined to declare victory. For in no case have I given up any ground. Instead, I feel reassured by the strength of my knowledge and its ability to persuade.

But has anything actually changed? I might have introduced enough doubt for the other to reconsider their position. They might reflect on what I’ve presented and reach a new conclusion. But I can’t directly change someone’s beliefs simply by countering them with facts and evidence or berating them with arguments. If their beliefs change, it will be because they decide to judge the matter differently.

It’s always possible that they won’t do anything of the sort. They too can declare victory and surrender no ground. My inclination to argue forcefully might even cause them to retreat into the safety of their existing beliefs. Or they might decide I’m crazy, hostile, or naive and redouble their confidence in their superior knowledge.

This doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t argue in support of truth. But I must do so carefully, because I risk accidentally defeating myself. Provocative declarations of victory will not change anyone’s mind. Heavy-handed arguments will not encourage the kind of calm reflection that shifts judgments. To be effective, I need to present a clear alternative and show why it is better without provoking fear or anger in the other.