222. Dominant Moods

A bad mood can be so strong that it dominates you. It changes the way you see the world by colouring it in a darker light. What was once fun and exciting can quickly transform into nothing more than a frustrating annoyance.

By changing your perspective, your mood also changes you. It shapes your behaviour, it modifies your speech, it alters the way you look. It can do these things because the way you are is less a response to the world around you than it is a response to your own self. This can be helpful, because it means you can solve challenging problems by approaching them with determination and optimism. But it can also be detrimental, like when you become stuck in a profound sorrow and you lose the ability to do anything at all.

Your mood is not under your direct control, but it has an enormous influence on you. You can try to shape your mood by modifying your environment, but even this is not always successful, because there are more moving parts to a life than anyone can manage. No matter what you do, you will at times have to contend with moods that undermine your ability to function as a caring and capable person.

The best response to a bad mood is self-compassion. You need to empathize deeply with all aspects of your present experience. You have to see your current needs and allow yourself to respond to them. This can be more difficult than it seems, for it means investigating your feelings and becoming more sensitive to their presence.

It is with awareness and sensitivity that you will begin to see what is needed for your mood to shift. Sometimes you need nothing more than a literal cookie. Sometimes you need someone to listen to your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes you need affection or intimacy. To understand what you need in the moment requires awareness, but it is only by looking attentively at your experience that awareness grows.

A compassionate response to a bad mood offers you the opportunity to let go of particular feelings, which in turn grants the possibility of migrating into another mood, hopefully one less stagnant and more open to creative action.