329. Desires And Needs

I feel a strong need for something, but I cannot have it right away. I have to think about how to get it, and through practical reasoning, come up with a plan to obtain it. Once I have a plan, I also form an intention to carry it out, which is a kind of desire.

At this point, it’s easy to become confused. I know that I have to meet my need, and I might think I should do so by fulfilling my desire. The desire might even feel more compelling than the need, because it is definite, clear, and tells me exactly what to do. I like the certainty the desire provides, so I give myself over to it and I allow it to take control.

But in doing so, I’ve lost sight of the most important thing: my unmet need. I’ve allowed my attachment to a desire to direct my actions and attention towards implementing a particular plan rather than allowing myself to act freely from compassion. The result is that suffering will almost certainly follow. I will feel stress, anxiety, and other difficult emotions as I try to reach my goal.

If I could instead remain free of attachment, then my need would stay in focus. I might still take action to carry out the plan I came up with, but I would do so from compassion and not from attachment. With my attention open and free, I might notice along the way that a different plan would be better for me and abandon the original plan without grief or regret. There is no feeling of loss precisely because there is no attachment to a particular goal. My attention remains on my need, which means my actions are motivated by self-compassion.

I might also come across a more urgent need — possibly one that is not my own — and put my plan on hold while I attend to it. I can do this without suffering only if I remain free of attachment. When my actions arise from compassion towards myself and others, I will not feel anxiety or regret from having to abandon specific goals in order to meet more pressing needs.