162. Complete Honesty

Complete honesty is more difficult than it might seem. It takes more than providing an accurate description of the facts and events. It takes more than attributing actions and words to the correct people. It even takes more than carefully including everything that is known about the matter at hand.

Honesty requires me to be aware of the things I do not know, and to express my uncertainty fully. To do this requires great humility, for the biggest impediment to honesty is always the self. What I believe and want and fear can have a enormous influence on what I say and do. If I am not aware of these factors and their ability to alter my words then I will always speak something less than the whole truth.

But how can I become aware of what I cannot even see? I can investigate myself deeply, I can question my desires and beliefs, I can notice my aversions and anxieties, but I will still not have a complete awareness of myself. There will always be something more I cannot yet see, something just beyond my present awareness.

How then can I be honest when there is always something I am still blind to? The only way is to fully accept this fact. I must remain open to the possibility that my words will be less than what is needed, and I must communicate the uncertainty I see. I must recognize that any deficiency happens because of me, because of attachments I have that unknowingly impede my honesty. I must do this not to heap blame on myself, but as a way of affirming my commitment to honesty itself.

It is in seeing the possibility that my words are less than fully honest that I also see the necessity of expanding my awareness of myself. By allowing my attention to freely and openly investigate my intentions and attachments, my self-awareness will expand and my words will move closer to a more complete honesty.