468. Blaming And Trusting

You say I’m to blame for the way things are. I say I accept my share of the responsibility and I want to find a way forward. You say the way forward is for me to disappear. I say that’s impossible and we have to find a way to make things work together.

You say you want to go your own way. I say we’re in this together whether we want to be or not and you know this. You say that might be true, but you don’t want to work with me. I say we can’t overcome the problem if we don’t get past that.

You say you’re not planning to get past anything. I say we have to if we’re going to help each other. You say you don’t want my help, you just want my respect. I say you already have my respect but respect is not enough. You say you don’t see why not.

I say respecting each other is only a token when what we need is trust. You say trust is impossible. I say that means we’re in trouble because then we might wrong each other again. You say you already know it will happen again. I say we won’t stop it from happening just by imposing obligations on each other. You say you don’t see why not.

I say obligation leads to resentment. You say you don’t have a problem with that. I say resentment will cause us to hurt each other again. You say we would then have a real problem. I say exactly and we don’t want to have that problem. You say you aren’t sure what this means.

I say we have to accept our situation and learn how to appreciate each other. You say that’s going to be a challenge. I say you’re right but we still have to do it. You say you don’t like it. I say it’s the only way to make things work: either we figure out how to trust each other or we’re only postponing the next conflict. You say you’ll think about it.