35. A More Joyful Life

We go to great lengths to disguise our misery. We are suffering deeply inside, but we do not want to see it or let it be seen. We try to hide it, not just from others, but also from ourselves.

We tell ourselves we are happy when in reality we are suffering. We try to distract ourselves from this reality by whatever means we can find, but mostly by what gives us pleasure. We will do anything to avoid the idea that our way of life is not working and we do not know how to live better. To admit we are suffering feels like a fatal declaration of weakness.

We think our suffering must be the consequence of something we have done (or failed to do) and so the only person to blame is ourselves. There is some truth to this. Even if others might be responsible, we are still responsible in part. Crucially, we are responsible for our awareness of the world and ourselves. If our awareness is too narrow and limited, there is little anyone can do to help us.

We have to take action for ourselves. We have to open up to the world and explore it. We have to grow and develop the range of our vision. We have to loosen ourselves from the rules and norms that so tightly bind us. We have to question ourselves in order to see where our thinking has gone astray and where our actions do not align with our needs and the needs of others.

All of this is challenging to do. It is always easier to pretend everything is okay. It is always easier to shrug off our own suffering and continue down the same path, even if it leads to more suffering. But there is also the possibility of a better life — one largely free of suffering.

If we can see the necessity of this life for ourselves then we must first admit that our suffering is real. It is when we see the reality of suffering that we can also see how to bring it to an end.

With attention and effort, a more joyful life is possible. We need only the honesty and courage to allow ourselves to see how to get there.