116. A Fresh Start

When everything goes badly, we wish we could go back and do it over again. The day has gone wrong, and we would like to reset from the beginning. We want to replay past events but with the wisdom of hindsight to show us what we should do.

We want to reset because we have regrets. We remember the mistakes we made and these thoughts will not leave us alone. We can now see how we could have achieved a better result if only we had acted differently. Comparing our memories to the ideal past we imagine, we wish we could substitute one for the other and live in the ideal reality instead. But alas, we are forced to move forward through time. So our wish goes unfulfilled and we suffer in the form of regret.

Even so, another kind of reset is possible. We can loosen our attachment to our memories and ideals and grant ourselves a fresh start. This doesn’t mean blocking out our imagination or trying to forget the past. To force a different outlook in this way would only waste energy and tighten our attachment further. Thoughts and memories will arise when they arise. There is nothing we can do about this. The end result of attempting to impose control is only that we become even more tired and tense than before.

To loosen is to change our relationship with memory and imagination. It is to see the contents of memory and imagination as objects that exist separately from us. It is to recognize the endless suffering these objects will produce when we are attached to them. When we choose to no longer identify with these objects, our attention becomes free enough to explore the present moment and see what is needed right now.

We can create this fresh point of view every day, every hour, every minute. All it takes is to see the necessity of loosening ourselves from the attachments that produce regret or any other kind of suffering. It’s when we are loose and our attention is free that we can find the energy and creativity to create joy for ourselves and the people around us.