321. A Culture Of Giving

We want to get what we want because we think it will make us feel better. Our rational goal is happiness, which we expect to achieve through the satisfaction of our desires. To get there, we will do whatever we have to do.

Recognizing this, those with power construct systems that motivate us to do what they want in order to get what we want. The fairness (or lack thereof) of these systems is irrelevant — if following their incentives is the only way to satisfy our desires then we will follow them. It is only logical for us to do so if we want to be happy.

But lasting happiness is always just out of sight — there is always one more desire to fulfill before we get there. We soon come to believe that because of the systems imposed on us, the only way to be permanently happy is to amass resources, just like those with power over us. The result is that we build a culture of withholding, of always holding back, out of the relentless worry that we won’t have enough to get what we want.

In all of this, there is little thought of need. We do not consider what others need or even what we need. To think about need feels like a distraction from our twin goals of desire satisfaction and permanent happiness. And besides, how can we think about need when there are others who seem to already possess all of things we want? The inevitable result is that even our most important needs end up being neglected.

If we instead prioritize need, then we enter the realm of compassionate action. This kind of action is strange because it doesn’t satisfy our desires, but it also feels good to do it. It feels good even when the tasks demanded by compassion are arduous or even painful. This powerful feeling is joy, which encourages us to keep going and supplies the energy we need to create more compassion in the world.

Acting from compassion, we might not get what we want, but we do get what we need. Our culture is then transformed from one of withholding to one of giving. We generously give what we and others need, and by doing so, joy never abandons us.