100. Letting Everything Out

Out of a desire to be valued by others, we sometimes filter our lives to make ourselves look better than we are. We carefully sweep away anything that might suggest we are flawed or limited, while at the same time drawing attention to the parts of us others will like and enjoy.

We perform this kind of filtering not only for ourselves, but also for the artworks we create. We believe others will judge us harshly if we share a flawed creation. We think they will label us as unskilled or uninformed, or they might tell others our work is unattractive or unrefined. These outcomes are both possible and distressing, so we limit what we share to the best of the best.

99. Dangerous Distinctions

To use language is to create distinctions. We notice a group of objects that are alike and we create a category to hold them. We label our new category with a name that distinguishes it from other categories. We might then notice a pattern of change or repeated action and we create another category. Or we see a feature that is similar across many different objects and again we create a category. This process of endless categorization is how language develops and expands.

98. A Little More Compassionate

Every day she tries to be a little more compassionate than the last. She knows it won’t always happen and she accepts this. A misstep today won’t stop her from redoubling her efforts tomorrow. Beyond that, she doesn’t think too much about it. She tries to see what she must do. She pays attention to herself and her environment. She tries to absorb everything she sees, without trying to force herself. Forcing means control and she knows that control consumes energy. She can’t afford to waste energy because she needs it to take action. She tries to act from compassion towards everyone she encounters, herself included. Sometimes there are lapses, but she tries not to hold on to critical judgments. She makes mistakes, just like anyone else. She is sometimes harsh when she could be understanding. She is sometimes hostile when she could be empathetic. She is far from perfect. She certainly does not have all the answers. Still she tries to create as much compassion in the world as she possibly can. She tries to meet needs and reduce suffering, both for herself and the people around her. Sometimes people tell her that she must be tired from being so compassionate all the time, but this doesn’t make sense to her. Compassion is the source of her energy and the source of her joy. There is nothing else she would rather do, nothing else she even could do, really. When she sees terrible suffering she often feels pain, but she doesn’t fight it. She allows it to arise and depart, so that she doesn’t waste any energy. When people tell her about their “compassion fatigue” she just smiles. She tries to help them see more clearly, if she can. She tries to show them the sources of suffering, and how it can be brought to an end. This is quite difficult because everyone is caught up in their own lives, their worries and desires. Still she tries, for she can see it’s important to help others become more aware. It’s the only way they can start to be a little more compassionate, too.

97. Lost In The Details

You think the details are what’s most important. If you pay attention to the distinctions, to the nuances between this and that, then you’ll figure it all out. After sorting out the details, you’ll see how to arrange your knowledge of the world so that everything falls into place. And then you’ll finally obtain the things you’re looking for.

What is it that you’re looking for? You want to possess beauty, you want to feel goodness, and you want to know truth. All of these will be yours once you sort out the details. So you measure, and you analyze, and you reason. You do this over and over again, carefully refining your investigation without end.

96. My Shifting Moods

I’m not in the mood for that. This is the thought that often arises when there is something I need to do, but it feels like too much of a burden to do right now. My focus then shifts to my mood and how I’m currently feeling. And this can easily become the decisive factor in what I choose to do.

Sometimes I get annoyed with myself over this. I tell myself it’s just a form of procrastination. I tell myself I should just do what I need to do. I tell myself I should not allow my moods to control me. In the end, I discipline myself into doing whatever it is I’m avoiding. This works because the thing that must be done actually does get done.

95. From Inner To Outer

A human being is a body, its actions, and its words. All of these things exist in the physical world: a body can be felt, its actions can be seen, and its words can be heard. But a human being also has feelings and thoughts and these do not exist anywhere in the world. While they do have worldly counterparts, these counterparts are not the experienced things themselves.

Our thoughts and feelings exist for us in an inner space that the world cannot directly reach. The world can influence this space, but it is still wholly ours. We can think about anything we can imagine. We can invent ideas and structures without limit. We can be fully creative here without having to worry about even the possibility of criticism from anything or anyone in the world.

94. The Monstrous Universe

When two infinities collide, do they cancel each other out or do they combine to create something even more monstrous?

One infinity by itself is already a monster, for it goes beyond anything we can imagine or comprehend. It transcends both the real and the imaginary. It escapes all of our usual systems, all of our usual rules and practices. It could easily behave in ways that are unpredictable or intractable.

93. To Be Slow Enough

It’s late afternoon and I’m caught in a great mass of people. Most are on their way home after work, but others are strolling more leisurely, popping into stores along the way or chatting with friends. The first group is in a desperate hurry while the second seems to have all the time in the world.

My focus is on navigating through the mass. I’m swerving around bodies heading in the opposite direction, while dodging the sandwich boards that litter the sidewalk. I’m in no hurry, but it’s still challenging to maintain a slow pace. I feel the distinct urge to go faster when others are rushing past me. Their swift movement feels purposeful, as though it were a response to some unknown stimulus, and I feel compelled to speed up.

92. Desires And Necessities

Someone I care about wants me to do something I cannot do. I am unable to do it because there is something else I must do instead. I feel this other task is necessary because I can see it would be profoundly harmful for it to go undone.

This is not a conflict between two desires. It is not a matter of fulfilling my desire instead of the other person’s desire. It is a matter of yielding to the necessity of compassion or attempting to avoid it.