42. The Heart Of Compassion

Empathy is the heart of compassion. If I cannot empathize with you, then I cannot see what you need and I will not be inclined to help you fulfill that need. And as compassion is action to meet needs, I cannot possibly act from compassion when I cannot empathize. If I can already see that compassionate action is necessary to bring an end to my own suffering, then I must learn how to empathize with everyone I encounter.

41. Like A Common Fool

A sailboat rests on the rocks, its single mast tilted slightly to one side. It has run aground, pushed in during the previous night’s storm. The unmanned boat had been anchored in the harbour, before coming loose in the storm’s harsh winds. It remains perfectly intact, with no visible damage.

People pause along the boardwalk that runs close to the shore to stare at the boat. Some quickly survey the scene before moving on, while others linger or take photos of the misfortune. A cluster of seagulls has boarded the boat and taken possession. A man positions his two children for a picture using the beached boat as the background.

40. The Better Choice

It can be terrifying to choose the unknown. Between an already-tested option and an untried one, more often than not, we want to go with the safe bet.

But what if the safe bet is not actually safe at all — what if it is really the more dangerous option for our current dilemma? With only a limited awareness of the situation, it is difficult not to be deceived. We easily become confused by our existing views and biases. After all, the safe bet was the right choice in the past, and so we believe it must still be good now. We are not able to see the true risk of our options.

39. The Limits Of Responsibility

Where does my responsibility begin and end? I know I am responsible for my actions and everything that is directly caused by them. If I do something that directly harms someone, then I am responsible for that harm.

In many cases, I will not be the sole cause of a particular outcome. But even so, my responsibility is not reduced because responsibility is not quantitative. Either I am responsible or I am not. My responsibility might be shared with others, but this does not exempt me in any way.

38. Impossible To Satisfy

She was getting a lot done. She knew this because she was devoted to her work and she was always busy. Her productivity was higher than it had ever been and her projects were finally moving forward in a big way. Every evening, she would review her efforts and note with pleasure the measurable results she had achieved.

Her progress was impossible to discount, but still she felt she wasn’t doing enough. She kept worrying that her current pace wouldn’t be enough to reach her goals, at least not before she had expended her meagre resources. But when she took the time to map out her progress more carefully, it looked like she was still on track. She would be able to make it as long as she sustained her current effort.

37. A Collection Of Pathways

A frequent companion of the active reader is the reading list. My list is is long, varied, and poorly organized. Entries sometimes include details on a book’s content, but often they are nothing but a title.

My list is, in fact, several lists. I abandon them periodically, starting a new one whenever I feel the existing list no longer suits me. But while I stop adding to the old lists, I never delete them. I hold on to them out of the belief that what interested me once might be useful again in the future. Sometimes this is actually true.

36. The Flexibility To See

To avoid what makes me uncomfortable is to limit my own awareness.

I see harm being done and I turn away from it. I read an article that is contrary to my views and I disregard it. I hear someone offering an opinion that I hate and I plug my ears. In every case, I have closed myself off from part of the world. It is the part of the world that I do not like — the part that goes against my values, the part I judge to be bad.

35. A More Joyful Life

We go to great lengths to disguise our misery. We are suffering deeply inside, but we do not want to see it or let it be seen. We try to hide it, not just from others, but also from ourselves.

We tell ourselves we are happy when in reality we are suffering. We try to distract ourselves from this reality by whatever means we can find, but mostly by what gives us pleasure. We will do anything to avoid the idea that our way of life is not working and we do not know how to live better. To admit we are suffering feels like a fatal declaration of weakness.

34. Breaking The Rules

The rules that govern our lives often feel solid and permanent. We believe we should follow these rules because they reflect the established way of doing things. We especially believe this when the rules have been written down and formalized into a code or law. We sometimes believe we shouldn’t deviate from the rules or modify them in any substantial way. We might even go so far as to believe that our current system of rules is the only one feasible.