220. An Endless Struggle

Making art means struggling with the problem of expression. There’s something you see and you need to share it with others. But you can’t communicate it directly, for you know your words will not be able to reach the thing you see. Your only hope is to somehow show it to others. To do this, you’ll have to create something new.

But creating is not straightforward, and the thing you make is not always capable of doing what you hoped. Your new creation might not possess the power it needs to be effective. This means you have to try again and again. Your efforts amount to a practice that gradually makes you more capable of expression. But it is experienced as a daunting struggle of regular failure and self-doubt.

219. Community Benefits

To be in community with others means understanding you are part of a greater whole. It means knowing other people and being known by them. It means developing lasting relationships that are both caring and trusting. It means cooperating on common goals and sharing the burden of work. It means giving and taking both emotional and material support. It means having people you can rely on when things go wrong.

218. The Deepest Self

Everything she shows others is carefully managed. She does not allow them to see any part of her that might lower her in their eyes. Problems and blemishes are kept hidden, tucked out of sight or covered up. She is an expert at hiding and covering, for she has been doing this her whole life.

She knows what people will accept from her. She knows what attracts them and what repulses them. Her surface is all happiness and cheer and fun, precisely because she knows this is what others most want from her.

217. Anxiety And Attention

An intense feeling of anxiety can be overwhelming. It can become almost impossible for me to remain present and attentive to what I must do in the moment when I am totally consumed by worry.

To eliminate my anxiety, I need to see the attachment that is producing it and loosen myself from it. But when I’m burdened by the immense weight of the feeling, it can be incredibly difficult to do this effectively. I’m forced to contend with the feeling, which is merely a symptom of the problem and not the problem itself.

216. You Must Save Yourself

We want to live happily, yet we suffer. We reflect on our experience and we wonder why we must suffer. Why must life be like this? We recognize there is a problem but we do not grasp its nature. We think something is missing, something we need to find, something that will complete us. We think there is a secret we could discover that would guarantee us endless pleasure and happiness.

215. Collective Action

Our best efforts are often defeated by systems that are unfair and unjust. Our success is often hindered by power structures that undermine equality and promote hierarchy. Our well-being is often reduced by laws that only benefit a small group. These factors easily combine to limit our potential happiness. And if we find ourselves on the periphery of society, they can sometimes make happiness a total impossibility.

The problem goes beyond any individual and so any possible solution must be implemented at a higher level. Systemic change is needed but it is only possible by working with others to make it possible through collective action. Engaging regularly in this kind of action requires great energy and attention. But oppressive systems often rob of us of these things. They do this by compelling unnecessary actions that physically drain us, and by manufacturing a neverending fight for survival that mentally drains us.

214. Wants And Needs

We want pleasure but we need love. We want wealth but we need purpose. We want power but we need justice. We want righteousness but we need empathy. We want success but we need meaning. We want happiness but we need joy.

While our wants are often the main focus of our lives, we only rarely consider what we need. We set goals to fulfill our desires because we want the happiness that comes from getting what we want. We emphasize expediency, improving our material situation, and achieving our goals as quickly as possible.

213. What Must Be Said

I’m trying to tell you how I feel, but it’s impossible to find the right words. Everything that comes out of my mouth feels wrong, and I have to keep pausing to restate what I’ve just said. I’m anxious about speaking my mind because I cannot know how you’ll receive my thoughts.

I’m trying to formulate the perfect expression of my feelings, but the result is that I’m not saying much at all. My words won’t flow because I’m being far too cautious. I’m afraid of saying something I can’t take back or something I won’t be allowed to take back.

212. The Freedom To Reject

Rejection is always painful. It means learning that someone I’m interested in is not interested in me. Strong feelings necessarily arise. I feel grief over the lost possibility of a valuable connection. I feel sadness over the discovery that I am not what the other wants. I feel anger over being discarded like a useless object.

It’s almost impossible not to experience such feelings after being rejected. As I highly value the person doing the rejecting, I also value their judgment of me. And they’ve judged me unworthy of an effort towards a lasting connection.