52. How To Be Honest

If I am not honest with myself then I run the risk of living a lie. I can easily delude myself into thinking something is real and true when it is actually fake and false.

To keep myself honest, I need to ask myself questions. I must question my intentions, I must question my understanding, and I must even question my values. By posing these questions, I gain an opportunity to become more aware of myself. But how do I know my answers will be honest ones?

51. Boredom Is A Signal

To be completely bored is a dreadful feeling. You desperately want something new and interesting but there is no such thing available. The world itself begins to feel devoid of value since there is no longer any part of it that draws you in and captures your attention.

In the absence of anything new, you are left entirely alone with yourself and your feelings. You want to escape this state. You will do anything to find something that will pull you out of the hole you’re in and help you feel excited again.

50. An Author After All

From between the pages of a book, an anonymous text slips out and falls to the ground.

Words that come from nowhere exist in empty space. They have no meaning, as they are only symbols. Meanings are human — words on their own do not have them. Isolated words are independent of any human being and of humanity itself. Here, there is no me and there is no you. There are only words.

49. Imperfect, Flawed, Arbitrary

Rule making begets rule making. We first make a rule only to later discover an exception. We then modify the existing rule or make another rule to cover the exception. But then we discover an exception to the new rule and the whole process repeats.

What we end up with is a frustrating and unmanageably complex set of rules. We find ourselves with laws that require professional guidance to follow, sports with rules that are impossible to adjudicate, and philosophical distinctions that are incomprehensible to non-specialists.

48. Held By The Light

Standing at the waterfront, I look out at the vastness of the sea. The afternoon sun shimmers off the water’s surface. There are wobbly patches of intense light in the foreground and an abundance of sparkles in the distance. The patterns that emerge possess a mesmerizing beauty. I feel an urge to capture the moment, to save its magic in some way. But I know it won’t work. Whatever I could preserve by taking a photo would not be this. It would just be a representation, a reduction of what is here and now into a lesser form. Right now I just need to see, to absorb the view, to live in it. This it that is already so fleeting. This it that will be gone so soon. But I’ve got to stop thinking about this. If I’m thinking about how it will soon be gone, then I’m already mourning, even while it’s still with me. I need to live it fully, and that means I’ve got to let go of everything but it. That means there is no past and no future. There is just this instant where I am being held by the light. But letting go also means there can be no me, either. Being fully present means being one with it. I need to allow myself to melt into it and for it to melt into me. The glistening and my feeling of its beauty together form something new, where there is no me, no water, no light. Just it. This singular experience. It’s brief but also eternal. Somehow I can sense eternity in it. And now I also notice that I’ve become more than I usually am. Boundaries that are usually sharp have become blurry. The world and I have become a living unity. And in this becoming, I feel an unmistakable joy.

47. Consumed By Conflict

When the world feels hostile, it is easy to fall into a pattern of endless judgment, criticism, and opposition. I see how things could be better and I imagine an ideal world. This imaginative vision is valuable because it shows me a possible alternative, but it can also transform into a problem.

I can easily become attached to my ideal. It seems so much better than reality and I want it to exist. I want changes to the present that cannot exist presently. Instead of accepting the world as it is and working from there, I start to fight everything around me. There is a conflict between me and the world. My desire for a better world is pressing, but the present world must be as it is. I suffer as I experience this discrepancy.

46. An Inexplicable Gift

The miraculous is singular and divine. It only happens once, and never again. It is beyond our human abilities. It is an inexplicable gift given by the world itself.

Like the miraculous, the magical also cannot be explained. If it could be explained, we would call it science. The magical, however, is neither singular nor divine. It is repeatable and it is something we can do. The magical is closer to the human while the miraculous is the work of the gods.

45. It Might Result In Nothing

Doing something you do not know how to do can be frightening. Your goal is to do it correctly and not make a mess of things. You want to be successful, but more importantly, you do not want to fail.

You are worried about your performance because any mistake might doom you to failure. Your actions become rigid and tightly controlled because you are evaluating your every move, judging whether or not it will help you achieve your goal.

44. Temporary And Permanent

A star in the sky seems permanent, for it appears the same each and every night. But it is no more permanent than we are. Like us, it will eventually burn out and die. A blossom on a tree seems temporary, for it might last only a few more days before vanishing. But it is no more temporary than we are. Like us, it is sealed into history for all eternity.