249. Harsh Judgments

Where my values are strongest, my judgments will be harshest. When I see someone behaving in a way that feels not just wrong but repugnant, I cannot accept it. It’s contrary to everything I believe is right and good, and so I feel obligated to respond.

My response might be nothing more than a verbal reprimand to the wrongdoer. Or I might want to seek out some kind of punishment for the wrongdoing, to remind the other that their actions have real consequences. In extreme cases, I might even want to banish the wrongdoer from my community, in order to keep it safe from harm.

248. A More Truthful Response

How do you feel? This question was one she had always struggled with. To offer up a canned response like “fine” never felt right. It didn’t feel right because it wasn’t wholly true. She wasn’t just fine, and saying so seemed to lack honesty.

Honesty was important to her, but whenever she would try to conjure up a more truthful response, she found she couldn’t locate any words that were up to the job. There were always so many feelings present in her and there didn’t seem to be any way to summarize them into a sentence or two.

247. Beyond The Ordinary

You find yourself thinking more and more that life is just too difficult. You’re questioning your existence, your purpose in this world that seems to lack any substantial value. You’re wondering if there’s nothing more to life than this painful struggle that never seems to end.

You’re having these thoughts and feelings because you are suffering greatly. You’re suffering under the weight of something you cannot see. It has occluded your vision so perfectly that you cannot even guess what it might be.

246. Nihilism Is Nothing

We like nihilism for the same reason we like ideology and religion. All of these things give us a way to escape uncertainty. Just as ideology provides us with certain truths about our political situation, and religion provides us with certain truths about our spiritual situation, nihilism provides us with certain truths about our existential situation.

Nihilism tells us nothing has value and by doing so it frees us from our worries about the value of things, the value of others, and the value of our own lives. By making everything worthless, we allow ourselves the strange comfort of knowing that nothing we do can possibly matter. Freedom from meaning is also freedom from responsibility, and in this there can be a kind of morbid excitement.

245. Filling The Gaps

A fragment is always a part and never the whole. There is always something left out. That a fragment arrives with gaps can be unsettling. The text might appear to say both more and less than what it actually says. It’s able to do this because you fill the gaps as you read. You do this automatically, whether you are aware of it happening or not.

You fill the gaps according to your normative understanding of the world. This understanding is a product of your experiences, of everything you’ve been taught and everything you’ve discovered. It is the vast collection of rules and reasons you have learned throughout your life.

244. The Root Of Oppression

When I’m attached to my desires, I produce suffering for myself and others. Suffering arises because my attention and actions are fully directed towards the fulfillment of my desires. In such a state, I’m unable to see what I or others need and I cannot do anything to meet those needs.

The suffering that arises from my unmet needs can cause me to redouble my efforts to get what I want, out of the mistaken idea that I can escape from suffering by fulfilling my desires. Not only do I deprive myself and others of the care and attention they need, I also compete with them out of the belief that I must in order to stop suffering. I might even directly harm other people by lying to them or manipulating them to get what I want.

243. Folding In On Yourself

The weather looks calm and sunny, so I ask if you would like to join me for a walk. You tell me that you’re too busy right now, that you’re in the middle of working on something. I ask if you might have time later. You tell me that you’ll have to see how things go, that you can’t know in advance how you’ll feel later. I’m forced to accept your uncertain answer, as I can see there’s no point in arguing with you.

242. The World Is You

Everywhere you look, you see yourself. You’re looking out at the world, but you’re seeing yourself reflected back at you. This happens because what you see depends on your perspective, and your perspective is shaped by the rigid structure of your own attachments.

Your attachments are to intentions — to particular desires, aversions, and beliefs that you have. This can include any of the things you know, your values, the rules you enforce on yourself and others, the institutions and traditions you support, and more.

241. What We Deserve

When we do something helpful, we expect to be rewarded. When we do something harmful, we expect to be punished. We see these outcomes as what we deserve to be given from others. If we’re punished when we’ve done nothing wrong or we’re not given a reward we’ve earned, then we complain to others and demand justice.

We keep track of what we deserve and what others deserve. We feel it’s wrong when another person is given something they don’t deserve. We complain that the reward or punishment they’ve received is not merited. By doing this, we protect and enforce the norms that make up our concept of deserving.